Sex for the first time. What do you need to know? 👀

This week we are sharing with you some important aspects to consider when starting your sex life. Starting your sex life is equally emotional to adolescent girls and boys, but for this week we want to focus on offering guidance to girls. In order to have a positive and meaningful experience, it is vital to trust your partner, communicate your feelings and take measures to have a healthy sexual experience.

Let’s dive in!


Communication and Trust

Communication is key for a wonderful first experience. It is essential to notify your partner that it is your first time having sex. Trust is built on communication and supporting each other.

By communicating your feelings, expectations and fears, your partner can understand you and share the experience of a first time in complete trust.



Consent

When engaging in a sexual activity asking and giving consent is primordial.

Studies show that young people usually indicate their consent for a sexual activity through non verbal cues (not saying no, not refusing partner’s advances, maintaining eye contact). Because of the non verbal ways to consent to a sexual activity, wrong interpretations can occur, especially as women and men may communicate and interpret consent in different ways.

A traditional sexual context may present itself in various ways as women and men may interpret consent differently. In heterosexual relationships, men are expected to initiate sex and women to accept or not accept the sexual proposal. Therefore, many times women are being considered “gatekeepers”. This term is associated with the traditional and outdated idea that sex between a man and a woman is a transaction, when in the past men would propose sex and women would accept it in exchange of marital status. This idea is of course erroneous, as sex is an activity that should be performed for the pleasure of both parties. Furthermore the principle of consent is applicable for everyone and any possible relationship, not only the heterosexual ones.

In order to communicate consent properly, it is advisable to use verbal cues.

The video below offers some guidance. Would you like a cup of tea?


Source: Copyright ©2015 Emmeline May and Blue Seat Studios



Foreplay

Foreplay is an important aspect for a pleasurable sexual experience, especially for women. Women need physical and mental stimulation in order to be aroused. Foreplay prepares the mind and the body for comfortable intercourse. Beside the sexual organs, the human body has multiple erogenous parts (lips, neck, breasts, back, inner thigh, arms, feet, etc.) that can be stimulated prior to sexual penetration.

Especially in the beginning, when a woman starts her sexual activity, she might be tense, afraid of the intercourse and nervous. If the mind and body is not aroused, vaginal dryness can occur, which reduces the vaginal lubrication and makes intercourse painful. Using lube helps in this situation, as it reduces friction and the risk of injury during sex.

Everyone is different, therefore various activities such as a romantic dinner, dancing, a massage, oral sex, self pleasure, talking, sexting and many other things can be considered foreplay.

Studies show that women and men perceive the appropriate duration of foreplay before intercourse differently. Talk with your partner, tell him/her what turns you on, have patience and most of all fun.