This week we are sharing with you some important aspects to consider when starting your sex life. Starting your sex life is equally emotional to adolescent girls and boys, but for this week we want to focus on offering guidance to girls. In order to have a positive and meaningful experience, it is vital to trust your partner, communicate your feelings and take measures to have a healthy sexual experience.
Let’s dive in!
Communication and Trust
Communication is key for a wonderful first experience. It is essential to notify your partner that it is your first time having sex. Trust is built on communication and supporting each other.
By communicating your feelings, expectations and fears, your partner can understand you and share the experience of a first time in complete trust.
When engaging in a sexual activity asking and giving consent is primordial.
Studies show that young people usually indicate their consent for a sexual activity through non verbal cues (not saying no, not refusing partner’s advances, maintaining eye contact). Because of the non verbal ways to consent to a sexual activity, wrong interpretations can occur, especially as women and men may communicate and interpret consent in different ways.
A traditional sexual context may present itself in various ways as women and men may interpret consent differently. In heterosexual relationships, men are expected to initiate sex and women to accept or not accept the sexual proposal. Therefore, many times women are being considered “gatekeepers”. This term is associated with the traditional and outdated idea that sex between a man and a woman is a transaction, when in the past men would propose sex and women would accept it in exchange of marital status. This idea is of course erroneous, as sex is an activity that should be performed for the pleasure of both parties. Furthermore the principle of consent is applicable for everyone and any possible relationship, not only the heterosexual ones.
In order to communicate consent properly, it is advisable to use verbal cues.
The video below offers some guidance. Would you like a cup of tea?
Source: Copyright ©2015 Emmeline May and Blue Seat Studios
Foreplay is an important aspect for a pleasurable sexual experience, especially for women. Women need physical and mental stimulation in order to be aroused. Foreplay prepares the mind and the body for comfortable intercourse. Beside the sexual organs, the human body has multiple erogenous parts (lips, neck, breasts, back, inner thigh, arms, feet, etc.) that can be stimulated prior to sexual penetration.
Especially in the beginning, when a woman starts her sexual activity, she might be tense, afraid of the intercourse and nervous. If the mind and body is not aroused, vaginal dryness can occur, which reduces the vaginal lubrication and makes intercourse painful. Using lube helps in this situation, as it reduces friction and the risk of injury during sex.
Everyone is different, therefore various activities such as a romantic dinner, dancing, a massage, oral sex, self pleasure, talking, sexting and many other things can be considered foreplay.
Studies show that women and men perceive the appropriate duration of foreplay before intercourse differently. Talk with your partner, tell him/her what turns you on, have patience and most of all fun.
We talked about ways of how to be mentally and physically ready for sex. But taking care of your health is equally important. You can get pregnant or get an STD (sexually transmitted disease) from the first time you have intercourse. No matter the type of relationship you are in (casual, steady or committed) it is important to protect yourself from possible infections or unwanted pregnancies.
Adolescents present a higher risk of getting an STD at the beginning of their sexual life as they are more likely than adults to not consistently use protection measures against pregnancies or STDs ( Check our previous post about HIV/AIDS).
Studies show that even though adolescents represent 25% of the sexually active population, they represent 50% of STDs cases. Furthermore, female adolescents reported a higher percentage of non use of contraception at first intercourse, as opposed to male adolescents. This is why it is important to use protection from the beginning of sexual life as a norm, as it sets the habits for your adult life as well.
Communicate with your partner about the suitable contraceptive method for you. (Check our previous articles about contraceptive measures )
The condom is the only contraceptive measure that prevents STDs.
Pee after sex
Urinating before and after sex decreases the chances of getting a UTI (urinary tract infection).
60% of UTIs are post sexual intercourse. The risk of developing an infection increases up to 4 times on the second day after sexual intercourse.
In most cases the first episodes of UTI happen during the beginning of sexual intercourse and can recur over time.
If we analyze gender differences, we see that women are more prone to infections than men. Studies show that 1 in 3 women report a urinary infection, while for men only 1 in 20 men. These differences are due to human anatomy. In females, the urethra (Don’t know what a urethra is? Check our previous article ) is shorter than in males and is also in close proximity to the anus. Therefore, bacteria can build up and travel faster through the urethra and cause an infection.
UTIs can be mechanically triggered by intercourse, when a woman is beginning her sexual activity and she might be tense, afraid of the intercourse and present vaginal dryness or poor lubrication. Vaginal dryness reduces the vaginal lubrication and the urethra is not protected from a potential trauma during intercourse, therefore making it susceptible for infections.
In the past, this type of infection was known as the “honeymoon cystitis” among family doctors, as the young woman needed treatment for an urinary infection at the beginning of her sexual life.
This is why it is very important to urinate after the intercourse. The build up bacteria can be removed mechanically through urination before it passes the urethra and causes an infection.
Your first sexual experience should be something magical and make you feel special and safe. Remember to communicate with your partner, ask and give consent, prepare yourself mentally and physically for sex, use protection and pee after sex.
Be smart. Be (c)LIT. Fly with us!🌺🐝